Some call this the most wonderful week of the year. Or Maybe that's just what the marketing people at Discover Channel want you to think. Regardless, the much-ballyhooed Shark Week is upon us. If you're not familiar with this phenomenon, here is some backstory. Every year during the summer the Discovery Channel runs a week of shark-related programming. Since it's pretty slow around the Arizona Cardinals training facility right now, we thought it only natural to compare Bruce Arians and some of our players with their shark counterparts.
BRUCE ARIANS - THE GREAT WHITE SHARK
The Great White Shark is known as the undisputued ruler of the seas. There's no question that Arians is the undisputed leader of the Cardinals. Great Whites evoke both terror and awe when mentioned, and the same could be said about "Uncle Bruce" -- just ask a rookie who's been scolded after missing an assignment. The awe most likely comes from Arians' ability to eloquently use so many curse words in a single sentence. Both the Great White and Coach are feared by many yet highly revered in their respective communities. A common misnomer about Great White Sharks is that they love to feast on humans. In actuality, sharks don't like the taste of human flesh and it's safe to say that neither does Coach Arians.
LARRY FITZGERALD - BLUE SHARK
Like the Blue Shark, Larry Fitzgerald also sports a slender frame. The Blue Shark is known to leap out of the water from time to time but you can always catch Fitzgerald leaping for amazing catches. An interesting correlation between Fitz and the Blue Shark pertains to their affinity for travel. The Blue Shark is the most global animal on the entire planet and can be found all over the world, just like Larry during vacation season. Most defensive coordinators around the league still describe Fitzgerald as dangerous. Similarly, the Blue Shark is one of the more dangerous species within the shark community.
PATRICK PETERSON - TIGER SHARK
It's only right to compare a former LSU Tiger to the Tiger Shark. Preferring warm and tropical temperatures, both Peterson and the Tiger Shark are known as aggresive, dangerous creatures. Peterson is a threat to pick off any pass thrown in his direction just as the Tiger Shark is a threat to intercept prey in its vicinity. In the Cardinals defense P-Twice is often left on an island in man-to-man coverage. The Tiger Shark also does his dirty work solo, preferring to hunt individually.
CALAIS CAMPBELL - THE MEGALODON SHARK
The Megalodon Shark is the giant shark that you imagine chasing you in your nightmares. Calais Campbell has been giving offensive linemen nightmares since entering the NFL. The Megalodon is a prehistoric shark said to have averaged 40-to-70 feet long, nearly twice the size of the Great White. Campbell's stature emulates that of the Megalodon Shark as he is roughly twice the size of an average NFL defensive end. Not much is known about the Megalodon since it is now believed to be extinct. A safe assumption: No one wants to cross paths with either the Megalodon or number 93.
TYRANN MATHIEU - BULL SHARK
It might not be one of the biggest sharks but the Bull Shark is one of the more fiesty and aggressive of the species. Sound like somebody you know? Mathieu's small, stout frame matches that of the Bull Shark, which is referred to as the "Pit Bull of the Sea". The Bull Shark is a social creature that hunts in herds. Mathieu is a very social guy often hanging out with teammate Patrick Peterson. Additionally, the Cardinals secondary, more affectionately known as the "No Fly Zone", works as a unit to hunt down ballcarriers and receivers.
JOHN BROWN - SHORTFIN MAKO SHARK
John Brown is affectionately referred to as "Smoke" due to his unbelievable speed. That fact makes the Shortfin Mako Shark the natural comparison to Brown because they are one of the speediest sharks in the ocean. The Mako Shark can reach speeds of up to 50 miles per hour! Mako Sharks can also jump as high as 30 feet above the water and if you saw Brown score the go-ahead touchdown against the St. Louis Rams last season at University of Phoenix Stadium, you know he also has hops.
DEONE BUCANNON - HAMMERHEAD SHARK
This comparison is all in the name. Deone Bucannon is a downhill thumper in the run game. Comparitively, the Hammerhead uses its uniquely shaped head to pin down its prey. Bucannon would never lead with his head because that's against the rules but he won't hesitate to sacrifice his body to stop a ballcarrier. Both the Hammerhead and Bucannon are known for having good vision. While the Hammerhead's vision is aided by their physical traits, Bucannon relies on his years as a safety to help read offenses.
JARED VELDHEER - THE WHALE SHARK
Known as the largest of the shark species, the Whale Shark makes for a sensible comparison to the largest Cardinals offensive lineman, Jared Veldheer. Both the Whale Shark and Veldheer may be big in stature but are considered to be gentle giants. The Whale Shark consumes massive amounts of plankton and small fish during each meal and as is true with most offensive linemen, Veldheer can put down a healthy portion of food during each sitting. And after reading that last sentence we hope Veldheer has thick skin like the Whale Shark.